The 'F' Word

fa'alavelave n. Anything that interferes with normal life and calls for special activity. (N.B. A wide range of events, ranging from a wedding to a canoe lost at sea is covered by this concept.)

Since being on this island we have each attended a funeral through work or church and since we are in Samoa we do as the Samoans. We've contributed some money and as is the Samoan way received equal to or often more than what we contributed in money terms. It doesn't make a lot of sense to me, when you give, you give and don't expect anything in return. But if you overextend yourself and your family to give back more than what you are able, is the giving back more about pride rather than a genuine token of thanks.

Older Samoans may think us younger generation Samoans don't appreciate helping out our families but I don't think that's the case. I don't like the fact that often these events are large and grand (do you really need a 27 tier cake?) which means expensive. So while you are enjoying your 27 tiered cake your cousins are sitting in the dark with no electricity or food. Something has gotten out of kilter with this.


We have been invited to a wedding, Talia is one of the flower girls (likely to be 1 out of 10) and we have all been invited to attend the wedding at the local hotel. Yes a joyous occasion, but whenever I hear wedding or funeral I think argh fa'alavelave!


On our invitation, there's a nice picture of the couple, but what surprises me most is the "Monetary Gifts Appreciated" sign at the bottom of the card. Even the Bridal Shower has the same "Monetary Gifts Appreciated" sign on it. I am taken aback at the repeated and direct request for money, may be if they'd told us verbally or got the word out that that's what they wanted it would've been easier to take. But there are 500 guests to let know so may be it's the easiest way. I wonder if 'ie toga will be accepted along with Visa and MasterCard?